It Feels Like Forever
by Ghost in the Corner
Summary: Since the day they met in Hell, he's always known. But he's left to wonder if he shared the same profound feelings.


It's been as long as he could remember. Maybe even longer. He doesn't know for sure. But what he does know is that he's in love with Cas.

It's been difficult in recent years, what with the Mark of Cain and Amara. But he's been able to get through it with the help of his brother and his angel.

Now it's all over. Mary's alive, and Sam is home, both of them safe and sound in the bunker. For the first time since he was 4, everything was calm.

Without all the ruckus, he's finally able to relax a bit. He's been experimenting in the kitchen, testing out some recipes from online. He actually wasn't half bad at cooking. There was one instance where he made food so good Sam cried. His mom had even told him that he was better than she ever was.

One days like this, in between hunts, Dean seemed to have a lot of alone time. Either Sam or Mom were doing their own things around the bunker, or, on a rare occasion like this, they take the impala out and go spend some time together.

The bunker was completely silent. Dean was alone.

He decided he was going to go take a nap. Naps were always great. He was headed off to his room when he heard something. A familiar yet weird swoosh.

He was going to dismiss it when he heard a voice. "Dean."

Dean turned around to find Cas standing in the war room. Even weirder he was smiling. Smiling bigger than Dean had ever seen. It was kinda creepy. But, how the hell did he get in the bunker?

"Hey, Cas." Dean smiled back. They were alone together. Maybe _this_ was the right time to come out to him. "What's shaking?"

"Oh, Dean," Cas stepped closer to him. "something wonderful has happened." Still smiling, Cas put his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"What?" Dean asked.

In an instant, they were on top of the Eiffel Tower. On the very, _very_ top. Dean had to wrap his arms around the needle to keep from falling 'cause he was on _the very top of the friggin' Eiffel Tower_.

"Cas?!" he shouted, looking around for his angel.

Cas appeared beside him, not holding onto anything.

"Dean, I've gotten my wings back." he smiled. "I'm a full angel again."

What? "What?!"

Rolling his eyes, Castiel reached out to him, returning them both to the bunker. Dean stumbled back onto his bed (thank God Cas had the forethought to bring him to his room).

"Cas," he began breathlessly. "what happened? You're a full angel again?"

Castiel excitedly nodded. "I don't know what happened, but one moment my wings were only bone, then the next they're as full and luscious as ever. I've even got much of my power back."

He demonstrated by popping a beer out of nowhere and offering it to Dean.

"Wow, Cas," Dean said as he stood and accepted the beer. "that's awesome."

Castiel nodded excitedly. "I can't believe myself. Father must be looking out for me."

"Dude, he left with Amara. I think he's kinda preoccupied." Dean stepped toward the angel, unable to get that sinking feeling out of his chest. "But we really have to find out how this happened. I mean, these new powers could lead to some catastrophe."

"You're right, Dean." Castiel turned towards the door. "I will go investigate Heaven. See what they know."

"I'll see ya later, Ca-" the angel was already gone.

 _Well I_ definitely _missed that part._ Dean thought wryly as he sunk back onto his bed. Cas was a full angel again? How is that possible? All the angels fell years ago.

Wait, does that mean all the angels are full angels again? Would the Gates of Heaven open up?

And worst of all, would Castiel _abandon_ him? Like before?

Dean buried his head in his hands. Oh God, Castiel is gonna leave again. He's gonna go back to Heaven and rule there, leaving him and Sam in the dust.

This is not good. It is _not good_. Sure, Castiel is back at full power, but what about _him_? He hated to admit it, but he knows that he's in love with the stupid angel. And when the stupid angel leaves...

He looked at the beer in his hand. "I need a stronger drink."

* * *

It was getting worse. Mary had just decided to leave him and Sam, running out of the bunker. And Sam was so distraught over it he wouldn't stop cleaning his weapons.

Oh yeah, and Castiel decided to team up with Crowley to hunt Lucifer. And that was just _great_.

First, he runs up to Heaven. According to him, the Gates have opened, but no other angel was given full power. And after he returned to Earth, instead of finding Dean and relaying the info, he started hunting Lucifer, which lead him to working with Crowley.

So everything was just _great_ for Dean right now.

And if things couldn't get worse, Sam decided to skip out with the impala. Didn't leave a note or even bring his phone. Just ran off in the middle of the night.

 _Son of a bitch_. Dean thought as he entered the war room. Yet again, Dean was completely alone.

But he knew, since he was busy, Castiel wouldn't pop in this time.

Dean sighed. There was nothing, no one to distract him from his stupid love-addled thoughts.

 _Oh, how I would love to have Cas over, so we could cuddle and watch a movie._ he thought mockingly. _And we could dance to the record player from the library, and cuddle while researching, and kiss and-_

Dean sat in a chair. He needed to stop. It was stupid. He didn't have some childish crush on his best friend. And there was no way in hell he would want to do all those things with. He was a grown, straight man. And what do grown, straight men do when they have problems?

They drink.

* * *

 _Dean_. _Dean are you okay?_

Dean felt his body heave, as if laughing. Everything was so dreamy and floaty. He couldn't help but laugh.

 _Dean, stay with me. Don't fall asleep._

That voice. It shouldn't be there. It should be somewhere else. Somewhere where Dean wasn't.

 _Wake up. Come on, open our eyes. Please, Dean._

He could sort of feel the power coming from him. It pulsed heavily on his brain. Or, nope. That was the soon-to-be hangover.

 _Dammit. Okay. This is going to feel weird. 1... 2..._

That voice was so deep. Deep and rumbly. It was nice. Dean smiled. He could listen to it for hours and hours hours...

"3."

Dean shot up from the ground, that dreamy cloud turning into the cold hard bunker floor. He was sweating. What the hell happened?

"Easy, Dean."

"Cas," his throat was dry and scratchy. "what the hell just happened?"

"You were drunk out of your mind." Cas' hand was on his shoulder, right over the handprint scar. "I found you laying on the floor, spouting nonsense."

Dean nodded, and attempted to get to his feet. He nearly fell flat on his face. He would've if Castiel hadn't caught him and guided him back to the floor safely.

"Dean, I told you." Castiel looked him in the eye. His bright blue eyes seemed more... forlorned than usual. "You were drunk. You had a nearly lethal alcohol intake. What were you thinking?"

"Things have been hard." Dean admitted. "Mom took off. Because of that Sammy bolted with my car. So I indulged a little. Nevermind that. Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be hunting Lucifer?"

"I came because you called." Dean felt his confusion cross his facial features. "Your soul. I felt it cry out for me. I wanted to make sure you were okay?"

"You felt my soul cry out for you?"

"Yes." Castiel sat next to Dean. "It is just as powerful as prayer. You wanted me, so I came."

Dean smiled at that. "So, you're not going to go back to Heaven?"

"No." Castiel laughed a little. "No. They weren't very happy to see me at full power in the first place. They gave me 'the boot' just like before."

"Huh." Dean huffed.

Neither of them spoke. They sat as they were for quite a while. The atmosphere didn't change at all. Just silence and sitting.

Well, up until Cas placed his hand on Dean's.

"Is there something you've been wanting to tell me?"

Dean blinked in surprise. "What?"

Cas looked down at his sensible shoes. "Ever since Mary came back, I've felt an overwhelming sensation draw from our bond. It took me a while, but I realized that it was longing." Cas looked back at Dean. "But, the longing is even more powerful than it was in Purgatory. So, what is it?"

Dean began sweating nervously. Damn. He knew. Sort of. God, he wasn't ready for this. Not at all. Jeez, what the hell was he going to do?

"Dean," Cas faced him completely now, both hands on top of Dean's right hand. "please, tell me the truth."

Dean sighed. Here it comes. The moment he's been waiting for.

"Cas, I- I, um…" Cas' blue, blue eyes were pleading him to finish. "... I'm in love with you."

Dean had clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to see Cas' reaction. He had to be disgusted. He was an angel, he doesn't feel love. Oh God, he can already feel the mockery coming.

"You are?" Cas' voice. Why was it hopeful? Dean opened one eye, peering up at him. Cas' smile was bigger than when he told Dean he had gotten his Grace back.

"You, you're not... mad?" Dean asked, surprised.

"Why would I be?" Cas put his hands on either side of Dean's face. Dean brought his hands to hold his wrists. "We have a profound bond. I always knew I had powerful feelings for you. I just never knew you shared them."

Dean smiled. It was his first genuine smile in what felt like forever. "Cas…"

Cas smiled back. Slowly, they both brought their heads closer, not daring to move anything else.

That was the best, most satisfying kiss Dean has ever had.


End file.
